Congratulations again to The Five People You Meet in Heaven: Trial By Jury (Craig Barker, Mike Burger, Dwight Kidder, Kenny Peskin) for their victory at TrashMasters 2004, Dec. 4-5 at UTC. Juicy details follow, but first... GRATUITOUS PLUG: Question sets are on sale for $15/set. GRATITUDE: Thanks to UTC's versatile Nikki Poarch, who has been elevated to demigoddess status for handling stats and logistics, including spot-reading. Thanks also to house officials Kevin Olmstead, Dave Leach, Andrew Feist, Travis Buck, Ruth Jackson, Peg Brawner, Ashley Rousselle; house woulda-been-officials John Kilby, Jacob Vannucci, David Moore, Eileen Steinhice; and Steve Taylor (official on Sun., woulda-been on Sat.) A special tip of the hat goes to freelancers Matt Bruce, Jason Keller, Billy Beyer, and all the folks at DePauw, without whom the playoff rounds would have undoubtedly had more in-references to Chattanooga. Thankls of course to John Miles and the folks at Provino's for adding more chairs as the Saturday night dinner crowd just kept growing and growing and growing. Finally, thanks to all who participated -- it was a fantastic atmosphere throughout, and I had an especially great time. PRIZE THEME: This year's prizes were chosen to support the theme "How Soon We Forget." Speaking of which, thanks also go to prize shopper extraordinaire Gail Celio, who brought what turned out to be the MVP trophy all the way from Minnesota. GREAT MOMENTS IN TRASHMASTERS HISTORY: 1) Craig Barker, looking at the marshmallows from Mothra and Child Reunion's tactile bonus, and proclaiming, "Son of a bitch, that *is* Boba Fett." 2) In the individual stats below, check out the individual noms de buzzer for Darth Vader Ginsberg, the Knights Who Say Neg, and especially GeoPolitical Council. SAD MOMENTS IN TRASHMASTERS HISTORY: The Bill O'Reilly packet featured a bonus written by Dave Murphy on TV series with a superheroes theme, which included one part on the short-lived Sixties series Mr. Terrific. In the editing process, your genial quizmaster corrected the spelling of star Stephen Strimpell. From memory. Tragic, really. (That bonus did lead to another Great Moment in TM History, namely the looks on the faces on the other seven players in the room when Julie Stahlhut and your genial quizmaster sang excerpts from the theme song for "Captain Nice.") FULL TEAM RESULTS: Here are the standings after a full round robin of all 13 teams. (Teams were purely open teams with no academic affiliation unless otherwise noted, and even then there were some exceptions.) Team Win Loss Points Opp Pts Diff/GM Five People You Meet in Heaven: Trial by Jury 11 - 1 4332 1405 243.92 The Gerbil Express 10 - 2 3495 1946 129.08 Bill O'Reilly's Shower Massager: Now with Falafel Action! 10 - 2 3425 2121 108.67 Weapons of Ass Destruction 8 - 4 2987 2480 42.25 Bastard-Covered Bastards with Bastard Filling 8 - 4 3442 2175 105.58 Mothra and Child Reunion 7 - 5 2946 2580 30.50 Darth Vader Ginsberg (Vandy) 6 - 6 2106 2905 -66.58 Soul Truck: Revenge of the Sith 5 - 7 2215 2850 -52.92 Who Cares? (Wichita State/UTC hybrid) 4 - 8 2080 2952 -72.67 The Chronicles of Riddick Bowe (Emory etc.) 4 - 8 2165 2727 -46.83 The Divinyls Code 4 - 8 1610 3111 -125.08 GeoPolitical Council (Georgia Perimeter) 1 - 11 1605 3076 -122.58 The Knights Who Say "Neg!" (Macon State) 0 - 12 1345 3425 -173.33 In a 4th place match, Bastard-Covered Bastards with Bastard Filling (Dinan/Golden/Quintong/Stahlhut) edged Weapons of Ass Destruction (Dion/Hendry/Przygocki/Rollins) 320-310. For their 4th place finish, the Bastards got 4 Backstreet Boys CD's. Side note: The 4th place match could also have been billed as the Battle of the Insanely Early Buzzers. Of 27 insanely early buzzes noted on the scoresheets, twelve were by players from these two teams. All four of the Bastards registered at least one, and James Dinan led the field with five. However, the shortest noted was a three-word buzz by Craig Barker of Five People... on "One Week." ("Birchmount Stadium. Sting." [BUZZ!]) By finishing a game ahead of the pack, Five People... received a bye to the finals. In the semifinal to determine their opponent, Bill O'Reilly's Shower Massager... (Hight/Murphy/Richey/White) def. The Gerbil Express (Coen/Deveau/Rosenberg/Sorenson) 405-290. For finishing 3rd, the Gerbils won four CD's by other boy bands including the likes of O-Town. In the finals: Bill O'Reilly... defeated Five People... 290-235, forcing a shootout. [It was quite a seesaw match; O'Reilly led 250- 115 after 14, 250-235 after 19.] In the shootout, Five People... won, taking the knee after T15 with a 115-15 lead. 2nd place got Bill O. 2 CD's by Hanson and 2 by Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines. For their victory, along with a toilet seat with coral reef scenes on it, Five People... got four "how soon we forget" CD's (Roller Hockey; Pokemon: The First Movie; the Titanic soundtrack; and I've already forgotten the fourth, kind of proving my point.) INDIVIDUAL HONORS & DISTINCTIONS We had bagels on nine answers in the tournament. Five were in the first round, a sign of either a tough packet or not enough caffeine. Bragging rights (where only one player in the tournament answered the tossup correctly) were earned on 10 questions: Solomon (The Chronicles of Riddick Bowe) -- Right Right Now Now Rob (Soul Truck) -- Debbie [from "1985"] Anthony (GeoPolitical Council) -- There's Your Trouble Craig (Five People...) -- The Subservient Chicken Dwight (Five People...) The Continental Op Greg (Gerbil Express) -- Three Times One Minus One Anne (Soul Truck) -- Medieval Madness Mark (Bill O'Reilly's...) had bragging rights on *3* questions: Peter and the Starcatchers, American Gangster, and Something's Got to Give [the unfinished Marilyn Monroe movie]. For this, Mark received the bragging right prize, the CD for the soundtrack of Yor, the Hunter from the Future. Gloriously wrong answers were recorded throughout the tournament: Wrong: Zamboni Right: Roto-Rooter Wrong: Dr. Pepper Right: Mike and Ike Wrong: Walt Disney Right: Fritz Lang Wrong: Ciara Right: Cialis Wrong: L'Eggs Right: Butterball Wrong: Falling in Love Right: Stuck On You Wrong: Pillsbury Bake-Off Right: Federation Cup Wrong: It's All About the Benjamins Right: Born to Be Wild Wrong: Kramer Right: Naked Cowboy Wrong: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Right: Henry V I can't find my notes, but I believe this was awarded the Worst Answer of the Tournament at the time, with the prize being a CD with covers of boy band songs by The Soundalikes. However, it was superseded in the finals by Craig Barker, to wit: Wrong: Deep vein thrombosis Right: Child sex tourism We also had one by Chris Rosenberg in the semis: Wrong: Yoo Hoo Right: Mai Tai (and the clue didn't have anything to do with rhyming!) And we even had one in the K-Tel Hell finals by Dave Murphy: Wrong: "Holly Holy" by Neil Diamond Right: "Welcome to My Nightmare" by Alice Cooper Murphy nonetheless won K-Tell Hell, becoming the first two-time winner in a true barnburner. Chris Hendry finished 2nd and Greg Sorenson was 3rd; either would have won if they'd beaten Dave to the final song, "Songbird" by Kenny G. The John Drennon Rollins Award for Outstanding Achievement in Buzzer Aggression, fittingly, went to Dren Rollins. His prize was a CD tribute to Shaggy, so thin on talent that the covering artists each had to take 2 or 3 songs. Title IX All-Star Anne Mitchell received a B*Witched CD. Anne also received All-Star honors, as we had prizes for the top 13 scorers in the field. These All-Stars chose auction-style from CD's featuring artists of not-so-enduring value, such as Lou Bega and Joey Lawrence. The exception was MVP Michael Kearney, a.k.a. "Scalia the Hutt." He got the one prize we won't (or, alass can't) forget: the LP album from "It's a Small World." Individual stats were: Player Team # 10 -5 Points Rounds PPG Michael Kearney "Scalia the Hutt" Darth Vader Ginsberg 58 6 550 12 45.83 Anthony Bush "George Blair" GeoPolitical Council 57 10 520 12 43.33 Greg Sorenson The Gerbil Express 52 6 490 12 40.83 Craig Barker Five People You Meet in Heaven: Trial by Jury 49 7 455 12 37.92 Dwight Kidder Five People You Meet in Heaven: Trial by Jury 44 1 435 12 36.25 Adam Lipkin The Chronicles of Riddick Bowe 46 9 415 12 34.58 James Dinan Bastard-Covered Bastards with Bastard Filling 43 5 405 12 33.75 James Quintong Bastard-Covered Bastards with Bastard Filling 40 4 380 12 31.67 Mark Coen The Gerbil Express 41 6 380 12 31.67 Brian Hight Bill O'Reilly's Shower Massager: Now with Falafel Action! 38 3 365 12 30.42 Keith Hudson Mothra and Child Reunion 38 5 355 12 29.58 Dren Rollins "Jack Hammer" Weapons of Ass Destruction 43 16 350 12 29.17 Anne Mitchell Soul Truck: Revenge of the Sith 33 1 325 12 27.08 Mark Franklin Mothra and Child Reunion 32 5 295 11 26.82 Joseph Dion "Pile Driver" Weapons of Ass Destruction 24 2 230 9 25.56 Tom Michael Soul Truck: Revenge of the Sith 30 2 290 12 24.17 Brian Weikle The Divinyls Code 31 4 290 12 24.17 Dave Murphy Bill O'Reilly's Shower Massager: Now with Falafel Action! 31 6 280 12 23.33 Mark Richey Bill O'Reilly's Shower Massager: Now with Falafel Action! 28 2 270 12 22.50 Delano Barnes Who Cares? 28 4 260 12 21.67 Kenny Peskin Five People You Meet in Heaven: Trial by Jury 30 9 255 12 21.25 Jeremy White Bill O'Reilly's Shower Massager: Now with Falafel Action! 26 2 250 12 20.83 Stephen Taylor "Sir Han! Sir Han!" The Knights Who Say "Neg!" 25 9 205 10 20.50 Travis Lightsey "Sir Kitbreaker" The Knights Who Say "Neg!" 4 0 40 2 20.00 Gail Celio Mothra and Child Reunion 22 1 215 12 17.92 Mike Burger Five People You Meet in Heaven: Trial by Jury 23 3 215 12 17.92 Al Przygocki "Massive Butt Plug" Weapons of Ass Destruction 24 6 210 12 17.50 Jeremy Vaughn Who Cares? 24 7 205 12 17.08 Chris Rosenberg The Gerbil Express 21 1 205 12 17.08 Gerry Tansey The Chronicles of Riddick Bowe 25 9 205 12 17.08 David Moore Who Cares? 15 1 145 9 16.11 John Kilby Who Cares? 21 4 190 12 15.83 Rebecca Golden Bastard-Covered Bastards with Bastard Filling 21 10 160 12 13.33 Chris Sloan Soul Truck: Revenge of the Sith 15 3 135 12 11.25 Mariama Early "U Thant, Me Jane" GeoPolitical Council 14 1 135 12 11.25 Solomon Stein The Chronicles of Riddick Bowe 14 1 135 12 11.25 Mark "Clarence 'Lando' Thomas" Darth Vader Ginsberg 15 4 130 12 10.83 Paul McCord "Sir Vix" The Knights Who Say "Neg!" 14 3 125 12 10.42 Julie Stahlhut Bastard-Covered Bastards with Bastard Filling 13 1 125 12 10.42 Mark Dawson The Divinyls Code 17 11 115 12 9.58 Chris Walker The Divinyls Code 14 6 110 12 9.17 Brett Norris "Sir Cumcision" The Knights Who Say "Neg!" 12 2 110 12 9.17 Shawn Deveau The Gerbil Express 9 0 90 10 9.00 Chris Hendry "Ram Rod" Weapons of Ass Destruction 14 7 105 12 8.75 Rob Long Soul Truck: Revenge of the Sith 13 6 100 12 8.33 Jacob Vannucci The Divinyls Code 9 2 80 11 7.27 Alysia Vrailas Mothra and Child Reunion 8 3 65 12 5.42 Sarah Coen The Gerbil Express 1 0 10 2 5.00 Jeffrey Hunter "Grand Moff Rehnquist" Darth Vader Ginsberg 8 5 55 12 4.58 Eileen Steinhice The Chronicles of Riddick Bowe 6 2 50 11 4.55 Megan Clancy "Sandra Day Organa" Darth Vader Ginsberg 4 1 35 12 2.92 Bob Johnson "Sir Loin" The Knights Who Say "Neg!" 4 2 30 12 2.50 Brian Reynolds "Kofi Annan Annan (and it don't stop)" GeoPolitical Council 2 3 5 12 0.42 Joseph Ardoin "Boutros Boutros-Well - Ghali" GeoPolitical Council 1 3 -5 12 -0.42
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