We interrupt your regularly scheduled discussion/flamewar/etc. for some actual tournament results. A total of 22 teams descended on UT-Chattanooga (aka Center of the Known Universe) for the fourth Chattanooga version of Trashmasters. ... For time constraints, we now skip ahead to the playoff results ... In one semifinal match, Serenity Now (James Dinan, Brian Hight, James Quintong, Dave Vacca) beat Elan Vitale (Gourab Bhattacharjee, Ward Collum, Keith Hudson, Jason Schwengler) 265-245. In the other semifinal match, 4 and 20 Hannibal's Llamas ... (Craig Barker, Mike Burger, Dwight Kidder, Kenny Peskin) beat Gerbils in Paris: The Movie (Mark Coen, Shawn DeVeau, Chris Rosenberg, Greg Sorenson) then knocked them off again in a shootout round (because Gerbils entered the match with a one-game advantage) to reach the finals. In the finals, Serenity Now beat Hannibal's Llamas 231-200 to win the title. Top four All-Stars: 1. Greg Sorenson (Gerbils in Paris) 2. Jeremy White (Kathleen Turner Overdrive) 3. James Dinan (Serenity Now) 4. Craig Barker (Hannibal's Llamas) In K-Tel Hell, a new champ was crowned yet again as Chris Hendry knocked defending champ Dave Murphy by one point in the finals. As for the infamous prizes that are a staple of this tournament, they included a cheap romance novel, some novel co-written by Phyllis Schlafly, a Lyndon Larouche book and an Ed McMahon weight loss book. The wacked out team prizes were: 3rd Place (Gerbils): Jar-Jar Binks inflatable chair and Jar-Jar Binks lip balm 2nd Place (Llamas): "Christmas Chaos" (WWF Christmas book, I kid you not) and some Stone Cold Steve Austin squeeze heads 1st Place (Serenity): 'N Sync board game and the infamous Latrell Sprewell toy figures with the "Caution: Choking Hazard" warning on the package. It was definitely a fun tournament (I would be saying this even if my team *didn't* win the tournament) and would like to thank all those responsible for it. I'll leave it up to tournament director Charlie Steinhice or whoever else to post up more detailed numbers/stats/kudos/etc. in the next day or so. --JQ
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