Congratulations to Right Said Fred Gwynne (Joseph Dion, Jason Russell, Scott Sanders, and James Washick), winners of the 2001 RC Cola Classic trash tournament at UTC. Second place went to Cocaine Summer Splash (Keith Hudson, Alysia Vrailas, Shannon Moore, and Kim Jones), while Procrastinators for a Better Tomorrow (Gail Celio, Mark Franklin, Michael Staley, Aaron Twiddy) took 3rd. The tournament somehow survived all manner of bumps along the way -- the dreaded schedule glitch, the travel schedules of several teams that could not stay, the locking of keys in a rental van, and especially the near-total absence of the tournament director. Major, major thanks go to Toni Van Winkle for covering as tournament director for the portions I knew I'd miss, to Steve Taylor for covering as TD for the portions I didn't, and to Dorothy Morisch and Yolanda Fernandez for stats and all manner of logistical support. Thanks to the legions who contributed blind questions -- the Florida and Cal teams; Arizona State's Miguel Ruiz; Michigan's Craig Barker, Mike Burger, and David Thorsley; Mark Coen, Julie Stahlhut, and whoever I'm forgetting. Thanks to Toni, Steve, and Toby Walter for serving as house readers, and to all the players who pitched in to read during their bye rounds. And thanks to James Quintong for providing a musical interlude with his (slightly more modern) version of K-Tel Hell. I'll let James tell you more about that, but the winner was perennial K-Tel Hell (Charlie version) finalist Keith Hudson. TEAM RESULTS: The field was divided into two divisions -- Joy and Long. Before reading these results, please note that several teams (NO MA'AM, FCCJ/Nappy Dugout, Amazing Technicolor Coontie, and USF: Special Victims Unit) missed their last few matches due to travel time constraints. To make the math easier, we had to list those matches as forfeits but think it bears mention that at the RC Cola everyone's a winner. Team Name Division Win Loss Points Opp Pts Diff/GM Right Said Fred Gwynne Joy 8 0 1972 835 142.13 Procrastinators for a Better Tomorrow Joy 7 1 1976 816 145.00 Frankenstein's Mother Joy 6 2 2240 841 174.88 USF: Special Victims Unit Joy 5 3 1231 985 30.75 Broadband Joy 4 4 1016 1155 -17.38 So Fresh and So Clean Clean Joy 2 6 580 1475 -111.88 Just In the Nicotine of Time Joy 2 6 625 1706 -135.13 Amazing Technicolor Coontie Joy 1 7 225 636 -51.38 Power Word, Kill Joy 1 7 270 1686 -177.00 Cocaine Summer Splash Long 7 1 1886 1095 98.88 Doobie Brothers Karamazov Long 6 2 1700 1075 78.13 Barney Fife Revenge Squad Long 5 3 1086 1121 -4.38 Emory and the Lords of the Underworld Long 5 3 1071 926 18.13 Leave No Chitlin Behind Long 4 4 1136 1400 -33.00 The Knights Who Say NI-caragua Long 4 4 716 1291 -71.88 NO MA'AM Long 3 5 781 820 -4.88 I Would Like to Pet You And Give You Some Bird Seed, All in the Name of Hockey Love Long 2 6 1045 1272 -28.38 FCCJ/Nappy Dugout Long 0 8 210 631 -52.63 In the semis, Right Said Fred Gwynne proved too sexy for the Doobie Brothers Karamazov (quite a feat, considering DBK's packet!), while Cocaine Summer Splash let Procrastinators for a Better Tomorrow dazed and confused. In the finals, Right Said Fred Gwynne prevailed over Cocaine Summer Splash, while Procrastinators won the University of Georgia grudge match against a short-handed Doobie Brothers Karamazov to take 3rd. All 4 of the top teams received various quantities of RC Cola; the winners also got junior sized WWF wristband/headband sets. Other prizes awarded included scatological porcine keychains and a Christmas album by Jim Nabors. Individual stats will follow anon.
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